"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."
-Ellen DeGeners.
"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling."
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."
"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
-George Carlin.
"The road to success is always under construction."
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button."
"Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die."
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
-Mark Twain
"Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
-Steven Wright
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